J-Pull's Poetry Corner: "'Give Me My Own Movie Motherfuckers!'"

With the release of the Deadpool video game this week, I thought this would be the perfect time to share a Deadpool poem I wrote for my poetry class I took in my final semester at EIU, which was well received by the class and hopefully loved by anyone else who is reading this. While on the subject, expect a most likely positive review of the Deadpool game to be posted sometime this week or next.

So, without further ado, for the inaugural edition of J-Pull's Poetry Corner (yes, this will be a recurring segment), here is "'Give Me My Own Movie Motherfuckers!'"

“Give Me My Own Movie Motherfuckers!”

By Wade Wilson (filling in for Justin Pullen (Good thing his first name isn’t Richard. Ha!))

Oh how patient I’ve been for my own movie.
                (And patience is really against his nature.)
So many years at work, yet nothing to show for it.
                (Like Brandon Routh’s career.)

Fans want to see me shoot
             (BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!)
 and slice the shit out of people in live action,
and quite possibly 3D.
            (4D would be fun though;
            heads and limbs falling in your lap!)
So somebody pull Ryan Reynolds out of Blake Lively
                (What a downgrade from ScarJo.)
and let’s make my goddamn movie!

Now to make sure
this college nerd won’t say anything
about hogtying him and using his junk laptop
to express my emotions.
             (You’re such a good poet.
          And those old white guys make it look hard.)
Where’d I leave my knife?
                (But you just cleaned your suit!
            ...It’s on the microwave.)

Hey Tammy! Does this long poem annoy you?
Or do my trademark yellow boxes make it hard to read?
             (Breaking the fourth wall for the win!)
Comedy over. Deadpool, OUT!

 

 

To clarify something, Tammy was a girl in the class that hated long poems.